Sunday, 6 March 2011

FAO Justin Bieber

Hello Justin.

You will not reply to this message, in fact you probably won't even read it. Nevertheless what I have to say is of grave importance.

As you are aware you have amassed a healthy following on Twitter. Now I, amongst others, remember the days when you had a 'mere' 500,000 followers.
During these days you did whatever was in your power to tweet everybody back even if it was just a "Hello" or a "Thank you."
These simple tweets to your fans were regarded by them to be a huge honour which they would share with their friends and followers with great enthusiasm.

These days however, things have changed. I appreciate that with the amount of followers you now have it would be impossible to tweet them all back, and indeed this is not my suggestion.
But what I do suggest, on behalf of the 82,000 that have UNfollowed you since your change in attitude, is to go back to the days when you tweet back random fans and make them feel as special as you no doubt feel today.
All your account is used for today is to promote your music or the various edits of your movie which seem to be realised every week.
I am not a fan, and I do not require a tweet back from you to appreciate what I have on Twitter, but as I'm sure you will understand, there are many people that want the 'old' Justin back.
Do not let your fans down, they are who made you, and they can ultimately destroy what you have.

Please heed my warning, and know that I am not lying.

Let the game begin.


Posted by @The_Jigsaw


  1. Hello Justin Bieber. I want to play a game. Throughout the years you have soiled the meaning of good music. There will be consequences. The device attached to your abdomen will trigger in 75 seconds, sending a metal bar up your ass. Your chances at surviving is the key located in your ashophogus, inside your lungs, the very lungs that have soiled the ears of the innocent. How much blood will you sacrifice to continue your life? The choice is yours. Let the game begin.

  2. This Justin Bieber Hair,
    Sir I like to share some secrets with you about justin bieber. See what I’m saying Biebsy? Like you obviously know what a blowjob is, but you’re not exactly going to go jabbering about it to your mom, ya know? Oh…you did, huh? That’s when she used the word shit? Well…that just goes to prove how much of a (bleeping bleeper) you are, Biebsy. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. You don’t show your mom your porn. You don’t tell your dad about the girl who gave you oral in blind Mrs. Crumpett’s algebra class. And you sure as hell don’t tell people with MUCH more relationship experience than you “Eenie meenie miney moe / catch a bad chick by her toe / if she holla, hollers let her go.” Because they will just fuckin’ laugh at you until they fucking die of suffocation.

    You feeling me here? No--that’s not what I meant Biebsy. Good god, stop touching yourself there. Here’s my point: you’re 13 years old. Huh? Uh…my bad, 16. Still: 16 year-old’s are not supposed to be talking about heartache, lost love, and “going crazy, being star-struck, and getting so aroused you don’t need no Starbucks.” Especially when they look and sound more like they’re 11 or 12. Why not? Well it’s simple--because no one cares. What, you really have had those feelings? Nice going, Biebsy. But no one cares. What, you really have dated that many girls? Well now aren‘t you a cool cat? Too bad no one cares. What, you really have been with more girls than the entire rest of the earth’s population put together? Cool stuff buddy. It’s just that…NO. ONE. CARES. I feel like I’m repeating myself or something. Kind of like one of your songs. “Baby, baby, baby oooh / like baby, baby, baby, nooo / like baby, baby, baby, oooh / thought you’d always be mine, mine.” Like Bieber, Bieber, Bieber, nooo: NO ONE GIVES A FUCKING SHIT!

    Fuck You